Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
