I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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