You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
