i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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