i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
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Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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