I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Alive.
So much puke
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
