Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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