In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
