I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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