Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize