Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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