Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
