Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Less talking, more tequila
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
