Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
