I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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