we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
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Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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