There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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