I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
50% drunk capacity currently
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
