..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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