Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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