That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
