Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  No. You're kidding.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.

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  (919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth. http://tfl.nu/fp67
  Replies (37) Good night (821) Bad night (1276)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.

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  (757): I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton. http://tfl.nu/4m44
  Replies (59) Good night (2475) Bad night (1146)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?

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  (919): How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs? http://tfl.nu/a2dd
  Replies (38) Good night (2355) Bad night (3587)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar

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  (863): you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar http://tfl.nu/o1eu
  Replies (19) Good night (1052) Bad night (5294)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

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  (978): i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis http://tfl.nu/3jq7
  Replies (8) Good night (1029) Bad night (4047)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

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  (405): I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/0ol0
  Replies (19) Good night (5449) Bad night (1833)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

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  (610): I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin! http://tfl.nu/gtgt
  Replies (14) Good night (9410) Bad night (1796)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night

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  (305): nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night http://tfl.nu/tom4
  Replies (25) Good night (3983) Bad night (1870)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?

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  (508): Why did you put hummus in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/0gk1
  Replies (9) Good night (1531) Bad night (3236)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.

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  (410): we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice. http://tfl.nu/ow0x
  Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (2925)
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  (310): View more from California

  I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.

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  (310): I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/laj1
  Replies (28) Good night (1226) Bad night (7216)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife

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  (802): he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife http://tfl.nu/h9mg
  Replies (9) Good night (2457) Bad night (1707)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Why were you not born a dude?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Because god wanted to level the playing field

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  (727): Why were you not born a dude? (1-727): Because god wanted to level the playing field http://tfl.nu/5cfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1123) Bad night (370)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.

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  (518): Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die. http://tfl.nu/a211
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (207)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."

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  (716): I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good." http://tfl.nu/4xsm
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (216)

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