accomplished twins. life is a go
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.