I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
