i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize