i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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