Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
