Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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