weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
