shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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