Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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