I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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