Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize