i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
