i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
