if i can run in heels then i can drive
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
