already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
