Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
