Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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