Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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