It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
