I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
