I wanna bring you to show and tell
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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