my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
