Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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