She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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