Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
