I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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