No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
