I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
