theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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