u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
