I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
