We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
