real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
