I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
