I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
