I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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