we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
All the doctor said was why
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
