I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
