I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Randomize
