Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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