oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
