Non-Jews are for practice
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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