Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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